People with cancer and their families may feel guilty about their emotional responses to the illness. They may feel pressure to keep a positive attitude at all times, which is often unrealistic. This feeling of pressure can come from within themselves or from other people, or both. Sadness, depression, guilt, fear, and anxiety are all normal parts of learning to cope with major life changes, and a cancer diagnosis is a major life change. Trying to ignore these feelings or not talking with others about them can make the person with cancer feel lonely. It can also make the emotional pain worse. And, some people feel guilty or blame themselves when they can’t “stay positive,” which only adds to their emotional burden.
Along these same lines, there are people who want to believe that the power of the mind can control serious diseases. This is a comforting belief that can make a person feel safer from the risk of serious illness. If it were true, you could use your mind to stop the cancer from growing. But the down side of such beliefs is that when people with cancer don’t do well, they may blame themselves.
To learn more about attitude and survival, researchers looked at the emotional well-being of more than 1,000 patients with head and neck cancer to find out whether it affected survival. Over time, those who scored high on emotional well-being showed no differences in cancer growth or length of life when compared to those with low scores. Based on what we know now about how cancer starts and grows, there is no reason to believe that emotions are part of the cause or growth of cancer.
Cancer affects your body, but it affects your emotions and feelings, too. Mental health treatment that claims to alter tumor growth is not recommended as the only form of cancer treatment, nor should it be sought just because someone thinks it might prolong life. But mental health care and emotional support can help patients and their loved ones better manage cancer and its treatment. Talk to the members of your cancer care team about things you can do to help yourself through a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Sometimes it also helps to talk to other survivors who are going through the same things you are facing.
Your attitudes, emotions, and moods can change from day to day, and even from hour to hour. You may feel good one day and terrible the next. Know that this is normal and that, with time, most people are able to adjust to a cancer diagnosis and move forward with their lives. Some may need extra help from a support group or a mental health professional to learn to cope better. Find the strength and support you need to feel the best you can and have the best possible quality of life.